Mangled Spaghetti

    It began many moons ago as a great release, encourager, and a pathway to self-reflection

Book after book, video after darn video, article after article...yeah I ain't mad but man I've digested a lot, perhaps too much! 

I read, I listened, I dissected and wrote...I paused (well sort of) and then I pressed the repeat button

I thought that is how it was SUPPOSED to be done, this healing piece

However, tonight I sit in the midst of all the thoughts and all the feels, and it feels like I've created a big crazy bowl of mangled spaghetti in my own head! And darn it, I don't know what in the world to do about it, ugh grrrr!!!

    After all this time, shouldn't I have a make myself feel better remedy, some quote or song or affirmation to make me feel cool, calm and whole?

I sat quietly for a long, long, long time...ok well 10 minutes and tried my hardest to fix it and unravel the noodled mess, but yep, they are still there

I scrolled the social media rooms, in hopes that the cure all would pop up on a timeline somehow or someway...no luck 

    I listened to "Black Butterfly" over and over and over and over again and that helped a bit...true story

I rubbed my dog, showered off the day, sat in my sacred garden and that helped a little

Then, I text my energy coach, surely, she could fix it...no response

Then a thought, mystical and quiet, crept into my head space...perhaps there is no fix (Ms Fix It)! Perhaps, sometimes feelings and mangled spaghetti just happen, and you just sit with it, yup give yourself some loving space to just be uncomfortable in it and know it is not something you control or fix and make disappear. And so, I did and am... just sitting in my kitchen with a head full of mangled spaghetti and surprisingly, it is okay.