Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Mangled Spaghetti

    It began many moons ago as a great release, encourager, and a pathway to self-reflection

Book after book, video after darn video, article after article...yeah I ain't mad but man I've digested a lot, perhaps too much! 

I read, I listened, I dissected and wrote...I paused (well sort of) and then I pressed the repeat button

I thought that is how it was SUPPOSED to be done, this healing piece

However, tonight I sit in the midst of all the thoughts and all the feels, and it feels like I've created a big crazy bowl of mangled spaghetti in my own head! And darn it, I don't know what in the world to do about it, ugh grrrr!!!

    After all this time, shouldn't I have a make myself feel better remedy, some quote or song or affirmation to make me feel cool, calm and whole?

I sat quietly for a long, long, long time...ok well 10 minutes and tried my hardest to fix it and unravel the noodled mess, but yep, they are still there

I scrolled the social media rooms, in hopes that the cure all would pop up on a timeline somehow or someway...no luck 

    I listened to "Black Butterfly" over and over and over and over again and that helped a bit...true story

I rubbed my dog, showered off the day, sat in my sacred garden and that helped a little

Then, I text my energy coach, surely, she could fix it...no response

Then a thought, mystical and quiet, crept into my head space...perhaps there is no fix (Ms Fix It)! Perhaps, sometimes feelings and mangled spaghetti just happen, and you just sit with it, yup give yourself some loving space to just be uncomfortable in it and know it is not something you control or fix and make disappear. And so, I did and am... just sitting in my kitchen with a head full of mangled spaghetti and surprisingly, it is okay. 

Saturday, January 1, 2022


As 2021 was nearing a close I craved to be near a moving body of water. I was not interested in a pond, nope, I wanted a lake or river that extended for miles and miles. I thought about hitting the highway and going to the Detroit River, but that didn't happen. On New Year's Day I pondered going to take in the Belleville Lake, but again i just didn't make it. Fed up with my ownself I hopped in my car and headed to Ypsilanti's Riverside park to listen to the sounds of the Huron River. 

The sounds of flowing water greeted me immediately and called me closer. I watched and listened as the water flowed soothingly and calmly before encountering obstacles like large tree branches (that had found their way into the water's path). It was fascinating to observe how the water moved differently while moving over, under and around the tree branches and rocks, it was no longer a smooth flow but more of a bubbling climb. After it passed over and around these momentary snags, it slowed around a mini island before continuing on to it's calm journey. As I took this beautiful nature lesson in I was reminded how similar this is to life. We enjoy the happy and easy steps we are able to take day in and month out, however our character is not grafted during those times. When challenges, obstacles or setbacks show up...it is during those times that we learn how to breath and flow through, over and around them that the richness of our character and purpose often begins to manifest. 

Learning, yes learning, to flow in challenging times allows us to see how much the divine is present and needed in our everyday living. The calm waters were quiet and so peaceful. The roar of the water was present under the bridge and where the biggest tree branches existed. Our inner peaceful warrior is born, not in our calm peaceful places but during the learning spaces. As we learn how to be present and flow when faced with challenges we may be surprised to experience our most impactful moments arise. 

Learning to flow is a process of unlearning the habit of always being in hustle or fight mode. Sometimes the universe wants us to simply tune in, show up and follow it's divine nudgings. The more you allow yourself to get acquainted with the not knowing the outcome or forcing the outcome, it becomes a bit easier to tune in to the quiet whispers that are always present within. I hope as you embark on this next 30 days, 6 months, 5 years etc...you will consider what would learning to flow look like for you and how could it serve you?