Who Would You Be, If The Cage Had A Key?

 Who would you be, if the cage had a key? What a question to consider and who is living in a cage you might wonder. Well, societal norms can box us in to ways of being, communicating and growing. By definition, a cage is a structure of bars or wires in which birds or other animals are confined. So again I ask, who would you be, if the cage had a key?

Let me make it a bit clearer...who would you be if you felt safe enough to just be? 

Who would you be if you felt valuable enough to be able to make a mistake?

Who would you be if you felt empowered enough to take up space in all spaces?

Who might you be????

Who would you be if you felt protected enough to be pulled over by the police and not wonder if your life mattered or not?

Who would you be if you felt worthy enough to have access to the best health care, education, books, and vital living resources?

Who would you be if...

you felt loved??

you felt seen??

you felt honored??

you felt cherished??

you felt safe??

you FELT safe??

YOU FELT safe???

YOU FELT SAFE???

Who holds the key? Whoever does, influences the answers to these questions.

Mangled Spaghetti

    It began many moons ago as a great release, encourager, and a pathway to self-reflection

Book after book, video after darn video, article after article...yeah I ain't mad but man I've digested a lot, perhaps too much! 

I read, I listened, I dissected and wrote...I paused (well sort of) and then I pressed the repeat button

I thought that is how it was SUPPOSED to be done, this healing piece

However, tonight I sit in the midst of all the thoughts and all the feels, and it feels like I've created a big crazy bowl of mangled spaghetti in my own head! And darn it, I don't know what in the world to do about it, ugh grrrr!!!

    After all this time, shouldn't I have a make myself feel better remedy, some quote or song or affirmation to make me feel cool, calm and whole?

I sat quietly for a long, long, long time...ok well 10 minutes and tried my hardest to fix it and unravel the noodled mess, but yep, they are still there

I scrolled the social media rooms, in hopes that the cure all would pop up on a timeline somehow or someway...no luck 

    I listened to "Black Butterfly" over and over and over and over again and that helped a bit...true story

I rubbed my dog, showered off the day, sat in my sacred garden and that helped a little

Then, I text my energy coach, surely, she could fix it...no response

Then a thought, mystical and quiet, crept into my head space...perhaps there is no fix (Ms Fix It)! Perhaps, sometimes feelings and mangled spaghetti just happen, and you just sit with it, yup give yourself some loving space to just be uncomfortable in it and know it is not something you control or fix and make disappear. And so, I did and am... just sitting in my kitchen with a head full of mangled spaghetti and surprisingly, it is okay. 

Flow

As 2021 was nearing a close I craved to be near a moving body of water. I was not interested in a pond, nope, I wanted a lake or river that extended for miles and miles. I thought about hitting the highway and going to the Detroit River, but that didn't happen. On New Year's Day I pondered going to take in the Belleville Lake, but again i just didn't make it. Fed up with my ownself I hopped in my car and headed to Ypsilanti's Riverside park to listen to the sounds of the Huron River. 

The sounds of flowing water greeted me immediately and called me closer. I watched and listened as the water flowed soothingly and calmly before encountering obstacles like large tree branches (that had found their way into the water's path). It was fascinating to observe how the water moved differently while moving over, under and around the tree branches and rocks, it was no longer a smooth flow but more of a bubbling climb. After it passed over and around these momentary snags, it slowed around a mini island before continuing on to it's calm journey. As I took this beautiful nature lesson in I was reminded how similar this is to life. We enjoy the happy and easy steps we are able to take day in and month out, however our character is not grafted during those times. When challenges, obstacles or setbacks show up...it is during those times that we learn how to breath and flow through, over and around them that the richness of our character and purpose often begins to manifest. 

Learning, yes learning, to flow in challenging times allows us to see how much the divine is present and needed in our everyday living. The calm waters were quiet and so peaceful. The roar of the water was present under the bridge and where the biggest tree branches existed. Our inner peaceful warrior is born, not in our calm peaceful places but during the learning spaces. As we learn how to be present and flow when faced with challenges we may be surprised to experience our most impactful moments arise. 

Learning to flow is a process of unlearning the habit of always being in hustle or fight mode. Sometimes the universe wants us to simply tune in, show up and follow it's divine nudgings. The more you allow yourself to get acquainted with the not knowing the outcome or forcing the outcome, it becomes a bit easier to tune in to the quiet whispers that are always present within. I hope as you embark on this next 30 days, 6 months, 5 years etc...you will consider what would learning to flow look like for you and how could it serve you? 

Hmmmm...

Community Stand Up!

 People, we are a very fascinating species. We are full of contradictions. 

On the one hand we are keeping it 100 and on the other we are terrified to give 50% of our authentic selves to others.

We have this tough unbendable outer shell yet we are traumatized scared children on the inside that crave belonging.

We share our innermost angers on social media platforms but find it challenging to be vulnerable and have intimate conversations with our partners, children and parents.

We are quick to say what we absolutely don't have time for: fuckery, bullshit, disrespect, haters, new friends! Yet, we find it almost impossible to surrender to having time for the things that would possibly serve us well: Mental health check ups, forgiveness, reading, investing in true holistic healing, investing in our future better selves, time away from social media and other toxic behaviors.

Many of us are hurting in ways that we don't even recognize, we need to be reminded that we are valued, needed, enough, and so very loved and seen. 

We are in need of a nurturing and uplifting Village. 

We need our Community to Stand Up!

Sometimes Celebrating Looks Like This

Mother's Day is today and there will be brunches and lunches,

there maybe flowers and gifts delivered

there may even be road trips taken and airline tickets purchased...because today is a big big day for many!

But Sometimes, there are cards from years gone by that are read over and over,

Sometimes, there are tears that flow and don't seem to have an end in sight

Sometimes, there are movies that are watched or songs that are played because of the memories that go along with them

Sometimes, there is cooking or cleaning and sometimes there's not

Sometimes it's reading a book

Sometimes there is staying in bed all day because you just can't today 

Sometimes there is working

Sometimes there are walks in the park

Sometimes there is turning off you're phone

Sometimes there is hugging someone tightly that loves you dearly

Sometimes there is laughter and sometimes there's not

Sometimes it is going to your place of worship

Sometimes it is cuddling up with your dog or cat and sometimes it's not

Sometimes Mother's Day is just another day and Sometimes it is an absolutely amazing one!

However this day in May plays out for you and for me, how we choose to celebrate or not to... just know it is OKAY...it is absolutely OKAY!

The Table-Reflections

 

We all come to the table with stuff

Hopes, disappointments, snapshots from InstaBook and a desire to have the good life

The table is our friendships and our relationships

I ask: What is being served at the table? Is it edifying for the body and nourishment for the soul?

Does magic fill you to overflowing and call you to your higher self, your naughty self, your free self, your true self?

Again I ponder: What is being served at the table? Is it edifying for the body and nourishment for the soul?

Does it ground you, balance you, lift you, and walk beside you? Does it give, take and listen with the intention to understand you?

Suddenly I hear...Respect is being served and Love is being served!

I answer: At this table I will sit and at this table heartily I will eat.

The Way We Were

Could it be that it was all so simple then

or does Social Media plant pictures in my mind

Facebook memories fill the corners i tried to leave behind

If I had the chance to do it all again...would I?

Not knowing what I know now

I'll just glance back every now and then

Allow Facebook to hum it's precious lies

And simply remember the laughter and the way we were 

Juneteenth Celebration of Our Liberation!

This year wasn't  the first year but it was my first year celebrating, I mean for real for real celebrating Juneteenth

I've read about it, respected its meaning and kept on living. However, this year in the midst of the horrific scene that played out for all the world to see (the murder of Mr. George Floyd), the quarantine due to Covid-19, and the protest taking place all over the globe...this year 2020 was different.

I felt the need to understand how stuff in this world worked a little more, like politics. I wanted to dig a bit deeper into our history and feel more connected to people who looked like me. I no longer wanted to just peek in the window of my heritage, I wanted to begin to embrace it more fully.

I attended a small but life changing Junteenth Tailgate and enjoyed beautiful people of all shades of brown, different backgrounds, beef hot dogs and great music. The Four Black Ladies from Sugarbrook took me on a journey that felt like a true celebration of our liberation! It felt like a family reunion with afros and dishekis, only we wore t-shirts full of red, black and green and every hairstyle under the bright sun. We talked, we laughed, we danced, and we connected. As I prepared to leave I realized I wanted more of this, this feeling of Community and I now realize, it's what we all need more than we know.

Life

Life comes in waves

At times the silence of life is appreciated and at others it can be heartbreakingly loud

Life has a very special and unique way of nudging us awake...through loss, illness, and struggle. We are brought back from the edge of simply drifting through.

TODAY!
This Moment
This View
This Love
This Friendship
This Embrace
This Breath...are all that truly matter
They are simply the most important things

                                                                                                                          Kallista Marie

Being

Well Being is the process of being well

The word "Being" reminds us to continue Be-ing meaning to  journey on and gift yourself moment to moment by...

Being Well
Being Amazing
Being Love
Being Honest
Being Vulnerable
Being Passionate
Being Yourself
Being Scared
Being Silly
Being Courageous
Being Aware
Being a Wife
Being Joyful
Being Open
Being a Lover
Being a Husband
Being Forgiving
Being Supportive
Being a Girlfriend
Being Prosperous
Being a Worshiper
Being a Student
Being a Boyfriend
Being Authentic
Being a great Listener
Being Curious
Being Steadfast
Being at Peace
Being Creative
Being Compassionate
Being a Friend
Being Present
Being Understanding
Being Who God Created You To Be

Strive

Strive to be joyful

Strive to be creative

Strive to be aware

Strive to be teachable

Strive to be helpful

Strive to be healthy

Strive to be who you needed when you were younger

Strive to be a blessing

Strive to be productive

Strive to be consistent

Strive to be authentic

Strive to be honorable

Strive to be the best version of yourself

 

Strive to be open

Strive to be a bit adventurous

Strive to be forgiving

Strive to be inquisitive

Strive to Live not just Exist 
Strive to be involved in something that matters

Strive to be Love

Strive to be Light

Strive to be fully present in this moment 

 

I'm Tired!

  Today I awoke with a feeling of irritation, a frustration, downright anger at myself and our village. When I say our village, it refers to the individuals, families, organizations, sports and religious in our communities who directly give birth to, educate, feed, discipline, and supposedly prepare our children to live full productive loving lives.

  I was feeling some kind of way because I'm constantly reminded of how many things are not...I repeat, are not being communicated and passed on to our up and coming young men and women. We are too often leaving them to their own thinking when it comes to planning and preparing for a good future that makes them feel purposeful, worthy, and productive. We are still not understanding that when a person is void of these things, it invites chaos, poverty, violence, hopelessness, young unprepared parents, lack of skill/commitment to higher education, and yes dependency on alcohol/drugs and other self destructive behaviors.

To sum it up I'm really tired!!!

Tired of reading and learning about young people getting caught up, locked up, shot up before the age of 30 (at an alarmingly high rate).

Tired of the "Merry-go-round" parenting style so many use...well that's how I was raised and I turned out ok (ok truth be told YOU ARE NOT OK)!

Tired of the age old misconceptions of what a "Real Man" looks like, acts like...yet many of the ones handing down these twisted ideas have no real clue on a grand scale of what a real man acts like because the people they learned from may have had the best intentions but they were bruised and somewhat lost themselves...trying to do the best they knew how based on the life lessons they had learned. 

I'm super tired of grown folks not following through on their promises, commitments where our young people are concerned and then being shocked when those same kids who were repeatedly disappointed, disillusioned, ignored, neglected, and even abused...become cold, uncaring, angry and sometimes even killers.

I'm just tired, when will we understand that "today's decisions directly effect tomorrow's consequences"? 

 I'm tired of our anger towards police brutality and the realness of white supremacy...yet our LACK OF ANGER AND ACCOUNTABILITY towards our running in circles generation after generation. Let us be angry at how we speak so harshly to our children (sometimes referring to them as B******, Mother******* when they are no older than 5 and 6. This trains them to view themselves and others in a certain way and that is NOT OK! Let us be angry that we don't make time to learn about money, investing, saving and make it a priority to hand that information down like we do our Sweet Potato Pie recipes.  Let us be angrier still that we tell our children what they should do, should be, but how often do we give them our complete undivided attention and really listen to how they feel about any and everything without judging them? Let's rethink things and do better, shall we?

Perhaps it is past time to rewrite the rules we play and live by, because what we are doing and have been doing for years is no longer (if it ever was) doing us any darn good. I'm tired of the "Hood Rules", aren't you?

Silent Killer, Make BelieveThriller

October is official ghost and goblin season. 

 Witch's Brew and all things Boo!

 Haunted houses, Trick or Treat which some think is super neat..

In the midst of all the Octoberfestivities there looms in the air somethings that are far scarier still...

Silent Killers is what they are  

They are far more clever than anything you might encounter on the 31st of October

They seduce you while your young and when your wisdom levels are low 

Whispering sweet nothings in your ear as they prepare you for the show

What fun you'll have, sip me, down this...

If you really dare, smoke this here then drank this Lean

No warnings are shared of how they can make you mean

Count yourself among their friends 

and easily kiss your freedoms Goodbye

They give you liquid courage and imagined super powers

All the while, prepping you for what truly lies in wait

They are named Jack, Hen, Colt, Martel and they crew

Never heard of them? I promise, they are not new

They've been sneaking and deceiving since way back in the day

Amazingly people are still stumbling and becoming their prey

You may start off with weekends only or maybe special occasions

But because they are sly, slick and wicked...you find you easily drift into the dark rooms of much more

Slowly your vocab changes and this lends to not giving a f*@k

The more you entertain them they start to ruin your luck

Just think back for a minute when you had goals, dreams and were hungry to pursue them

What happened, have you achieved them or have they fallen by the wayside?

It's time someone pulled off the mask and sounded the alarm

These clowns need to be exposed for who they truly are

They are family destroyers and life stealers

They may not take your life but trust and believe if allowed to keep sneaking in 

the back door...they will steal everyone of your dreams  

No more Make Believe Thrillers, HEY they are indeed Silent Killers (sound the alarm)!

Do You Know Where Your Dreams Are?

It's Tuesday Morning

September 27, 2016

Do you know where your Dreams Are?

 

 

GO FIND THEM...
CHASE THEM DOWN...
PURSUE THEM...
Like Your Mental Well Being Depends On It
  because guess what? 
It does!

"BLACK LiVES MATTER"

Black Lives Matter

Black Health Matters

What we eat, think and do...Matters

           Black Financial Literacy Matters

Loving Our Black Sons and Our Black Daughters Matter

Black Excellence Matters

True History of Our Ancestors Matter

True History of what We've Achieved Matters

Celebrating and Supporting One Another Matters

Yes Black LiVES Matter 

I Am Proudly Melanin Rich

and

Yes...I Matter!

Build

 

 

 

Build

With Your Faith

With Your Words

By Your Actions

Build up Well-Equipped Children

Build Better Communities

 Make This World A Better Place

 

 

Build It With Care

How do you prepare to cook a meal? How do you prepare for your daily work out (okay, maybe your weekly work out)? How do you prepare a long lasting marriage, a fun family trip and on and on? 

A satisfying meal, a productive work out that does the body good, a marriage of two people who compliment each other now and in years to come and bringing the family together from near and far to have fun all require preparation. The other day it occurred to me that learning, I mean deciding to really learn also requires preparation:

  

Clear your study space

Listen to Classical Music (it awakens your brain)

Ask questions and if you don't understand the answer...ask more questions in person, via email or set up a time to meet with your instructors

Take detailed notes that YOU will understand later

Use the internet to learn a little more about your subjects (time consuming I know, but this is only if you are determined to learn)

Do your homework (yes every assignment)

oh and...Go to class & Tune In!

The Keys required for Success in almost any and every endeavor you take on are: your time, creativity, commitment and preparation...this is your education, your dream, your life...Build it with care...Muah

 

 

Please Be Kind

Never ever be kinder to others than you are to yourself

Never ever show more compassion towards others than you show towards yourself

Never ever forgive others more than you are willing to forgive yourself

Never believe in others and their dreams more than you believe in you and yours

Never never love others more than you love yourself

And always be gentle

Be encouraging

Be loving &

Please be kind to yourself...for it is then and only then

That loving your neighbor as you love yourself can be all that God intended it to be♡

For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34)

When God Takes Over

Today in church service a question was asked, “Do you remember the day you were baptized”? Today I witnessed a young man dedicate his life to Christ he converted from Islam to Christianity and afterwards that question was asked. I didn’t need to think long about it because I remember it as if it were yesterday. I got baptized when I was nine years old, but God called me when I was eight years old. When God speaks to you it’s not easily forgotten. So, why wait until nine if I was called when I was eight? I’ll never forget...

Me and my twin Priscilla were two very, very shy and introverted eight year olds who did not want any type of attention brought our way.

 

We were seated at the back of the church with our Grandmother, nestled comfortably under her protection. Cill must have been sitting on the other side of Granny because I don’t remember her sitting next to me. The Pastor gave Alter Call at the end of service and I always got nervous and scared during this part, I don’t know why I just did. My shyness seemed to rule my actions which means I operated in fear most of the time. But this particular Sunday this shy little eight year old stood away from her grandmother’s protective arms, moved out of the back pew and started to walk up the  aisle  to be baptized. It was as if I was being spoken to directly. FEAR HAD LEFT, GOD HAD TAKEN OVER, AND I WAS MOVING. This shy eight year old felt no fear, I just knew I wanted to be baptized. Then I felt my grandmother’s hand grab me I looked around and she asked “where are you going?” “To be baptized” I said, “no you’re not” she said, shaking her head, “have a seat”. I felt so disappointed and defeated. Now in my grandmother’s defense, she probably didn’t think an eight year old knew what she was doing or what it was all about, but at that moment I knew and I never forgot.  Other Sundays came and went, Altar call was given again and again, fear had crept back in and I sat frozen wanting to get up but too shy & scared to move. Then one Sunday opportunity presented itself again. Cill and I were sitting up front and center, Grandmother seated in the back of the church as was her custom, she was usually ushering or keeping her eyes on the ushers. I had excused myself to the restroom and when I came back I looked for Cill, I asked our friend “where is Priscilla?” She replied “She went up there to get baptized”, they had Alter call while I had excused myself. I looked up at the pastor and he was still asking “Is there one”? I think I ran to the Alter, no one to stop me. Priscilla was already in back changing, all I could think is she’s not going to leave me we’re going to do this together.  

 

This time it was through God’s gift to me, my twin sister Priscilla, that I had the courage and was able to move without fear to go and dedicate my life to Christ.

MY FEAR HAD LEFT, GOD HAD TAKEN OVER, AND I WAS RUNNING TO HIM

Dedicated to my twin and

My Lord and Savior

Jesus Christ

I’m still running to you.

Exhale All Doubt!

Waking up is a gift from God
Walking, talking and breathing are true blessings
Loving and being loved, make life beautiful
To dream is to dance with possibilities
To achieve is simply awesome!



Breathe in possibilities, exhale doubt!
Breathe in love, exhale fear!
Breathe in determination, exhale procrastination!
Breathe in creativity, exhale what will people think!
Breathe in purpose
Breathe in passion
Breathe in destiny
Breathe in Faith in the impossible and exhale all doubt....
Actively trust God's timing and the divine process